Inverted Spasticism

Above: South Park Elf
(Thank you Kris for Outfit!)
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This weekend was a wonderfull weekend with my daughter. We hung out at hat-n-boots park (also known as Oxbow park) and did things that 1 and a half year-olds do such as sprinkle pea-gravel in the wind, poke sticks into dirts at the local 'P'-patch, and of course scramble relentlessly while giggling around a modern OSHA qualified version of what used to resemble "Monkey Bars". That was Saturday (pictures coming soon). On Sunday, we relaxed.
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Above: Daughter learning the male art of Couch otatodom.

plaper or pastic

Mickey mouse had enough of kermits snide remarks about ear size, and after hearing the awfull sad kermit "hurt" rendition, decided to put him out of his misery. After all, he was a bit of a creep. The conspiracy theorists of course blame Kermits switch from the authentic acoustical guitar featured in recent videos to the kiddy keyboard found in kermits posession at the scene of the crime.


Today's Random Google Query: hall get six
Should barry hall get the most time on the sidelines for his king ...
Trojan Talk: News From Inside Heritage Hall :: Get the latest news ...
Raiders Will Have the Honor of Watching DeAngelo Hall Get Burned ...


Oh, and another cool rendering using gimp:

Ass-Blasting and Bung Sausage

Below: A cool texture created in GIMP using the sinus-rendering filter and bump-mapping the results against each other using different x/y random seeds and color transitions.
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So I walk into the bathroom at my workplace and as I'm approaching the urinal, I hear a vibrating phone... and then an answer "oh, hi... so did you get documents okay? Right. I'll talk to... " blah, blah, blah. Clearly a business call, while handling business. Then while mid sentence an eruption of rapid fire flatulence blasters interwoven with the splish-splash of turtlehead torpedoes... and in the background of this gag-inducing melody of pooter-toots and shit-shooting, I can hear the uninterrupted conversation continuing as if nothing was happening. Anyhow, I didn't stay long enough to figure out who had the gumption to multitask business with business because the smell was beginning to bloom, and the flavor of the day? Grim Reapage.


On a more palatable note: I've invented a new recipe, Beef-tendon Bung-Sausage. Braise about 1/2 lb of beef tendon (usually Vietnamese markets have it) in some Guinness and soy sauce for about 6 hours. Take the pork bung and simmer with Asian chilies, onion and garlic for about 2 hours. Take the tendon once tender, and dice up into medium sized pieces, about half size of pea. Mix in bowl with 1/2 cup chili paste and 1/4 cup pork lard. Tie off one end of the pork bung and stuff full of the tendon/lard/chili paste, tying off other end with string. Fry the bung sausage until browned and almost-crispy. Put in refrigerator, and chill until the bung feels firm. Now, slice into 1/4" pieces and serve on cracker topped with either prune or raisin.

Crowded but Lonely

Above: Gently shattered
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Drink up. No regrets. I'm just longing for something that vindicates the wisdom I've gained through my mistakes, misadventures, explorations and novel fascinations that have carved my acute awareness to deception. Having studied sociobiology in some form for more than ten years my awareness of biological or instinctive artifacts that are exposed in daily life--disguised as behavioral peculiarities, or personality traits--significantly devalued the concept of an individual, including myself. The idea of us being just robots with one primary goal of creating more robots that are exactly half of ourselves makes for an interesting foundation for game-theory (hence the fact that so much of sociobiology is discussed in the context of game theory). Problem is, I'm tired of playing games.

Ive done my part to contribute to the astoundingly banal process of being human. Nematodes (the worms that eat-shit and fuck themselves, literally) have as interesting lives as we do--mathematically speaking. So, what then non-mathematically speaking do we have that makes us so special? Naivety and Ignorance. If we knew and understood everything, we would really have nothing left to do but eat shit, and fuck ourselves.

Then again, now with the technological revolutions that are occurring, we seem to be headed exactly in that direction. That's funny because the conundrum is that the more we know, the less we have to do besides reproduce and consume, just like every other living thing on this planet, just like the shit-eating worms that fuck themselves.

Never give up because you can't do it. If you're going to give up, do it because you have something better to do.

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Right: Own It.

L.O.D:
"Shame on us
We knew from the start
May God have mercy on our dirty little hearts.
Shame on us
For all we have done,
and all we ever were
just zeros and ones."
--Zero Sum*, Nine Inch nails

*Side note: "Zero Sum" is a classification of games in game theory, where no matter what the outcome is, the total gains of all individuals must equal the losses. That is, for anybody to win, somebody must lose. Evolutionary biology and behaviour is generally considered a zero-sum model.



Today's Random Google Query: run trees heart
Tree's Heart Dynasty: a Shared-Roleplay Experience
…My heart’s in Accra » 10 trees for $6, or some thoughts on carbon ...
U2 Lyrics - One Tree Hill

Perspective Obfuscation

Apparently I made my ex very "angry" by stating that she was manipulative. I guess that makes sense, and perhaps I misstated. I will stand corrected in that I don't think she consciously manipulates. I do think that her sensitivity results in exaggerated interpretations of conversations. I appologize for the use of the word "manipulative" since by definition, this would require intent, and that I can not know.

Raisins in Wonderland

Ever get to that point where the list of things in your life that are out of whack reaches a level where suddenly, when you stop to try and work through things that you stall because whats real and whats just a perception becomes indistinguishable? I'm there. Maybe thats why my photogrpahy is so important right now, cause I can pull up a picture, look at it, and say "yeah, that actually happened".

Right: We love our raisins.
Below: Bibi is engulfed in a display at the Children's museum at the Seattle Center. She had fun that afternoon.

Today's Random Google Query: raised shut fixed
Chambers's Encyclopaedia: A Dictionary of Universal Knowledge
First Direct mortgages | Property fears grow as lenders shut doors ...
Shut-off valve - US Patent 6508270

Dirty Black Summer

Above: Curbside Suicide
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What do you call it after two days of rain in Seattle?

Monday.
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Shades of cool gray are starting to fade into the fecal-brown tints of Pacific Northwest spring. There is something about this place that feels home, and yet it oozes awkwardness in almost every nook of culture here. It isn't helping that its now well into april, and the high daytime temp hasn't broken 59 deg F yet. It kinda brings out the worst in people. Then again, the usual increase in daylight has resulted in the expected hightened libidos of seattle-ites. An attractive coworker naively commented that she has been getting a lot of 'boy' attention in last couple weeks, and that conveniently, she has been especially horny. I put a damper on things when I simply said, 'well yeah, its April.' Apparently she didn't know that "spring fever" was a real phenomenon, with biological purpose and all. Think about it... spring break doesn't have a reputation because of it being sunny, especially since most of the partying goes on in places that were sunny all year anyway (Florida, Mexico, Hawaii, Caribean, etc). Sometimes there is more to a story than you think. And sometimes... there's not.

The title of this post is the title of a Danzig song, a hat-tip for reasons I'll let you figure out.

And on a different note....

Below is the apparatus used to "oil" slides for our scanner, also fondly known as the "dirk-diggler apparatus" or "long-john silver". The phallic nature extends beyond its form , as its main function is to squirt oil on a slide when you push its button. No, I'm not kidding. And we are shipping three more to customers soon (although the commercial version will have a more benign form factor). For the winner of the most phallic building (some random contest), see the "brick dick" (somewhere in Michigan).


Today's Random Google Query: determined forward fine
Spring Training: Lincoln determined to 'look forward'
The CAN1 Locus of SACCHAROMYCES CEREVISIAE: Fine-Structure ...
ScienceDirect - Discrete Applied Mathematics : Fine-grained ...

Back to basics

above: l'il chemist
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I gave up trying to keep an even keel, and in fact, i'm certain it broke off weeks ago. Never in my life have I felt so disappointed in everything I thought I beLIEved in. Even though its nobody's fault in most cases, it seems even my friends and family are failing me, and not so much for lack of trying, but more just that they are in no position to help. Even if they were in a position to help, I'm losing hope that anybody can really do anything that matters besides some token assits here and there. In otherwords, everything that mattered to me got shattered, and now I'm here trying to recover what I can, but this time I'm doing it all alone.

Its funny, I have friends who I would trust my life with. But one of them appears to be betraying that trust, and I fear its for the wrong reasons. I won't go into it in depth now, but it appears that without having even spoken to me, my friend has apparently sided with my ex (his wife and her are good friends) and somehow has been convinced of some pretty bad misinformation (thanks to my horribly exaggerating and [**Edited: see entry "Perspective Obfuscation"**] ex) and now won't talk to me. I thought this was odd because he hadn't even spoke to me until after he apparently decided to pass judgment. This is unfortunate, because this was my last good friend that lived in this State. Needless to say, it appears I'm more alone than I thought.

I'm grasping to one last thing to try and avoid a complete psychological train wreck, and that is photography. I'm shifting the focus (no pun intended) of this blog to be a repository of either what I consider to be good pictures in general, or just cute pictures of my daughter, or both (I distinguish these categories because often the "cute picture of daughter" category may not meet my standards for a good picture technically). So enjoy and please comment freely, as I seem not to have anybody around me who gives a flying fuck about my pictures, so even a negative comment would be appreciated. But please: There are few things that tick me off more than people who praise crap to be polite... I consider photography to be art, and I fully expect people to have opinions that I can leverage to improve my skills, but honesty is required for that, and my bullshit filter is set to max sensitivity. I'll take honest over nice any day. If you want to be nice to someone, take it to church where it belongs--reality doesn't have room for insincere niceness.

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Above: Curb Navigation Meneuver, Success!
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LOD:
Don't break
Don't break my heart
And I won't break your heart-shaped glasses
Little girl, little girl
You should close your eyes
That blue is getting me high
And making me low
That blue is getting me high
And making me low
-"Heart Shaped Glasses", Marilyn Manson

Today's Random Google Query: over wished immediately
Birds of Prey of the World
As a newly qualified GP I do not wish to turn immediately to ...
Digg - Man Sentenced For Troubling Police Over No Birthday Wishes

Got Trich?

Trichinosis, a lovely little parasite that generally gets little attention unless you count the fact that muslims and jews include the exclusion of food that can contain this as written religious doctrine. This is consistent with the idea that most religious doctrine is little more than fun little stories to help guide the naive through difficult life decisions, such as whether to eat pork or not (because if you do, you will be possessed by itchy-fever demons!). I supposed this is just like telling a small child that if she eats candy after brushing her teeth, the boogyman will take her teeth (the primary difference to the tooth fairy of course is that the boogyman doesn't leave money). Anyhow, in case my point was lost in ramble, it is this: I find it amusing that a thousand year old dietary recommendation to avoid a troublesome (but not usually fatal) parasite has led to such odd public policy (in the US, min you) as not ever including pork items (e.g., bacon, sausage etc) in prison meals due to the significant population of muslims in prisons.... (at least in washington state). I'm sorry, but anybody who abides by the no-pork rule because of their religion is to me about as autonomous as a sheep with mad cow disease.

So, wear your trichinosis infection proudly as its a badge of honor, a banner of wisdom, a flag of freedom, a statement that you, as a person can think for yourself, a master, a real leader. Of course the next step is to learn how to eat pork without actually acquiring trich. Then you'll be God.

Oh and on a different note: the "Got Milk" add with Hayden Panettiere... lets just say that I couldn't stop laughing. The add is posted below... it speaks for itself (although it might be worth mentioning that she's 18 now).

Today's Random Google Query: life added returned
YouTube - Life Mastery Scotland July 2007 - Bill returned
ABC-CLIO Serials Databases - User's Guide
Life Insurance Canada

Harmony of innocence and naivity

Above: Sniff Sniff

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It is unfortunate that the second we recognize true innocence, it means that we have lost our own. Practically by definition, if you are innocent, your are naive. Do the naive have a sufficient understanding of innocence to recognize the shades of gray that add so much texture and beauty to the guilty pleasures of experience? If not, it would therefore follow that a true understanding of innocence can only be appreciated by the guilty. From my own experience, it seems that you never really find a moral, law-abiding, or God fearing individual who is wise about things illegal or immoral,. and therefore by my own definition, "unwise". It seems that maybe the true cost of wisdom is a loss of innocence.

LOD: (Lyrics Of the Day)
And in the after birth
On the quiet earth
Let the stains remind you
You thought you made a man
You better think again
Before my role defines you

Nail in my hand
From my creator
You gave me life
Now show me how to live

"show me how to live", AdioSlave

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Below: Biscuit and Blue

Today's Random Google Query: within expect sudden
SUDDEN ATTACK LOOKED FOR NOW ON ARRAS FRONT; Allies Expect German ...
The Secret Lion
A Sudden Change in QRS Morphology