Ass-Blasting and Bung Sausage

Below: A cool texture created in GIMP using the sinus-rendering filter and bump-mapping the results against each other using different x/y random seeds and color transitions.
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So I walk into the bathroom at my workplace and as I'm approaching the urinal, I hear a vibrating phone... and then an answer "oh, hi... so did you get documents okay? Right. I'll talk to... " blah, blah, blah. Clearly a business call, while handling business. Then while mid sentence an eruption of rapid fire flatulence blasters interwoven with the splish-splash of turtlehead torpedoes... and in the background of this gag-inducing melody of pooter-toots and shit-shooting, I can hear the uninterrupted conversation continuing as if nothing was happening. Anyhow, I didn't stay long enough to figure out who had the gumption to multitask business with business because the smell was beginning to bloom, and the flavor of the day? Grim Reapage.


On a more palatable note: I've invented a new recipe, Beef-tendon Bung-Sausage. Braise about 1/2 lb of beef tendon (usually Vietnamese markets have it) in some Guinness and soy sauce for about 6 hours. Take the pork bung and simmer with Asian chilies, onion and garlic for about 2 hours. Take the tendon once tender, and dice up into medium sized pieces, about half size of pea. Mix in bowl with 1/2 cup chili paste and 1/4 cup pork lard. Tie off one end of the pork bung and stuff full of the tendon/lard/chili paste, tying off other end with string. Fry the bung sausage until browned and almost-crispy. Put in refrigerator, and chill until the bung feels firm. Now, slice into 1/4" pieces and serve on cracker topped with either prune or raisin.