Thursday, January 26, 2006

Cheesehead

I enter the restroom at work to pop a pooter-strudel, and lo-and-behold someone beat me to it with a ripe mexican "paint-the-toilet" butt explosion. It was truly a wreched smell, which made it all the worse whenI sat down and instead of shitting, just a huge fart came out (cause I coulda done that at my cubicle).

anyhow...

THis food snob I know once told me that the way to distinguish norhtern european style cheeses (e.g. french) from more southern such as greek, was that French cheese smells like ass, and greek cheese smells like genital cheese. Go figure.


Today's Random Google Query: great getting corner
Instapundit.com
The Corner on National Review Online
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Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Everything looks better


...with beer goggles.
Try a pair today!

<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->
So the other day I snatch a couple of yummy Dicks Delux burgers on the way to the bus stop, only to miss the bus as I'm walking accross the street with the last of a burger being crammed in my mouth. In light of the fact I now had ten to fifteen minutes to blow I walked into one of my regular watering holes, "The Mirabeau Room" for a brew. As I found a stool at the bar, I noticed two things: one, that the bar was fairly quiet, and two, that the familiar bartender (a modestly cute brunette) was looking at me oddly. She then points to the corner of her mouth and says to me, "you have something on your mouth". Without even a second thought, I began to wipe the corner of my mouth as I replied "Oh, thanks, its that Dicks sauce, gets everywhere". She raised one of her eyebrows rather significantly, and said "Okay... would you like a beer with that 'Dick Sauce'?". I then realized what I had said, and proceeded to drink my beer rather quickly, to insure I didn't miss the next bus.

On a slightly more serious note, I should say that all images on this blog (photos, gimped images, digital art etc) are my original work with only a couple minor exceptions: the two-tone mayor Nickels "mayor gridlock" image is from the cover of The Stranger, and the original (base) image for the skull cross-section with the biohazard sign was 'borrowed' from The Visible Human Project and is a real photograph of a cross-section of a human skull (but all 'photoshopped' layers blended on top of that original image were my own art work).

I must also give special credit and and a hip-hip-horay for The Gimp (the free open source 'photoshop alternative') if you don't have a grand to blow on photoshop package, you should check out The Gimp, its really a good example of what can be accomplished with open source. If you want to get familiar but don't know where to start, check out the tutorials page.


And for those to whom it may not have been obvious, I only post carefully selected images that usually have several more-or-less hidden meanings. For those who know me, some may be more obvious, but none are posted with the intended message of 'face value'. Of course I doubt anybody really gives a shit and probably doesn't have time to give it a second thought, but its fun anyway. For those who don't know me, I can at least seed your interest with the following fact: I have a twisted sense of humor, and am often considered to be somewhat of a moral monster (I actually passed on taking a picture of an apparently aborted fetus in a kentucky-fried chicken bucket in the dumster the other day--but only because it stunk too bad) . There are no rules.

The devil is in the details. Happy Tuesday.

Today's Random Google Query: corner given otherwise
The Corner on National Review Online
Visual Calculus - The Ladder Problem
The aggdraw Module ::: www.effbot.org

Friday, January 20, 2006

My dream is a nightmare.


Nothing is ever what it seems, and sometimes you get exactly what you wanted and just don't know it. And sometimes, its the last thing you need.


Imbecile

Save me from this imbecilic tragedy.
---Disconnected.
Hand me my wand of targeted ecstasy.
------Misguided.
Slip me a dreamer, a dancer, a beamer.
---------Transfected.
Pull off that trick, now suck my...
------------Unprotected.
Then load me with optimistic fever and shoot me.
---------------Infected.





Today's Random Google Query: dark seven appear
The Seven Chakras
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In a Dark Time

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

2005: Not what it could have been

Well, time to look back on a whole year of miscellany to ponder whether any of us are actually any wiser, or if we've just waxed another layer of jade on. Lets take a look:

The bad:
- We saw the passing of Richard Pryor, Rosa Parks, The Handicapped Checker at Safeway on 15th and Denny, my pet rat Beaker, and most of the city of New Orleans (among others).
- The Seattle monorail plan got ditched... again.
- Washington State decided to embark on a half-baked plan to make us all healthier by a sort of tabacco prohibition, or banning of smoking in all businesses--the most restrictive smoking ban in the hemisphere (Of course you can still legally go get wasted on cheap booze and fill up on lard-soaked onion rings while engulfed in fried-chicken/BBQ smoke... but I guess its all okay now that there is no second hand cigarette smoke, and never mind the fact that although lard tastes better than cigarette smoke, many more people actually die of heard disease than lung cancer).
- Global warming is starting to kill polar bears.

The good:
- George W Bush proved to the rest of the world that he really is a poo-flinging monkey.
- High gas prices have made the obese, gluttonous, and gentrified at least hesitate before buying their third SUV.
- Mary Kay LeTourneau and Vili Fualaau get married.
- Elton John gets married.
- Global warming is finally starting to kick our ass.
- We can now take tweezers on the airplane.

Below: Artwork of the year--A window into
the neighbor's bush, By Andy Thorp.














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Tutorial 3 - Page 1